Fantasy Football News & Notes: Cam Finds A Newtown

There was a conspiracy theory that was being widely floated that the Patriots planned on tanking the 2020 season to put themselves in position to draft Trevor Lawrence in the 2021 draft. As far fetched as it was, I wouldn’t put anything past Bill Belichick. The man isn’t getting any younger and finding success without Tom Brady is clearly at the top of his priority list. 

It was only a matter of time before the Patriots brought in Cam Newton. Apparently this deal has been in the works for a while but Covid provided difficulties with physicals and workouts. But alas, Cam will be an NFL starting quarterback on a very team friendly deal that probably comes with some under the table cigar shop investments from Robert Kraft. The personality fit will be the most interesting part of this whole experiment. Cam Newton has always been a player to show a lot of personality. He’s honest, willing to talk, he loves to smile, he loves to celebrate, and he loves to interact with fans. He’s the exact opposite of Tom Brady during his time with the Patriots outside of a few instagram productions and a very weird Facebook show.

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First Downs As A Predictor Of Future WR Points

What wide receiver stats really matter? If you scroll through Twitter on any given day you will see a plethora of numbers backing up sleepers, busts and “league winners” among other things. For WRs you’ve got YAC stans, yards/target pushers, market share aficionados and everywhere in between. It’s easy to get excited when you see that a certain player had 25 yards/reception and is in line for increased targets the next year!

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RazzBowl: The Success Stories

Deep in the hills of Los Angeles, there is a sacred space of learning that the kids call, “UCLA.” For those not familiar with the nature of university, it is like a bank where you can keep borrowing money no matter how bad your report card is. On the outskirts of UCLA, there is a junction where students spend their borrowed money. Hip shoppers stop at the Whole Foods, put their Chase Sapphire cards into a point-of-sale machine, and smile with maskless glee as the POS takes nine bucks from their account for a single watermelon. Across the street, there’s an In-N-Out, where students shout “ANIMAL STYLE” and wait for their slathered beef like it was the first co-ed on screen in a slasher film. 

In the winter, the Rose Bowl celebrates the imagined paradise that is California: the orange groves, the rose gardens, the summer nights on the beach with a Mai Tai. The RazzBowl, however, celebrates the real paradise that is California: Raiders Chargers Rams greasy burgers and expensive watermelons. And just like your friends want you to come out for one more $15 Mai Tai before taking the Uber to your dad’s condo, the RazzBowl wants you on board for the wildest ride in fantasy football. 

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Top 10 Tight Ends for 2020 Fantasy Football

Since time immemorial tight ends have perplexed the world. We all know you want an end that’s tight, but how tight is too tight? The great Albert Einstein tackled this enigma with his theory of relativity, where he concluded Darren Waller epitomizes the perfect balance of tightness and plumpness in the end department. And who is Donkey Teeth to argue with genius Einstein? Waller’s an adonis of a man, and well endowed too.

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Marvin Jones Jr., 2020 Fantasy Sleeper

Soon, it’ll be August, that time of year where you get the gang together in the garage for punch and pie and fantasy football drafts. You and your eleven or fifteen closest friends–is that guy across from you Matt or Mark?–are burning the outlets with 10 MacBooks plugged into the same run strip. You’re a couple rounds deep into your draft, and you’ve got running backs, a receiver or two, and maybe a tight end locked up already. You’re feeling good, definitely better than Jerome, who just drafted the Pittsburgh defense in the fifth round and keeps double-dipping the buffalo chicken dip. But you, you’re focused on the draft app and studying for your next pick. Problem is, you’re getting into the middle rounds, and the ESPN draft room is showing you ten receivers who all have the same stats. Four people are ahead of you in the draft, and you’re clenching your tallboy of PBR so hard it’s denting. What do you do? Marvin Jones, of course. 

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Fantasy Football Show: SFBX Strategy and Mock Draft Review

The doctors (Donkey Teeth and The Boof) reconvene for another week of malpractice and prognostication, this time joined by Razzball’s own B_Don! The underscores were flowing and the fantasy football talking was glowing. Sorry for that rhyme, promise I won’t rhyme anymore.

In the news segment we dove into the Deebo Samuel Jones fracture news and what it means for his fantasy outlook, plus a discussion on Mecole Hardman’s potential snap increase. Later in the Academy Award nominated feature film, we talk SFBX (Scott Fish Bowl 10) scoring intricacies, draft strategy and mock draft review, including how to value tight ends like Travis Kelce and Zach Ertz, and why Drew Brees is a secret weapon in these leagues. Tune in now to see YouTube’s #1 fake donkey doctor and #2 Boof!

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D. J. Chark, 2020 Fantasy Football Target

If you been following along with my preseason player profiles, you have probably noticed that I haven’t written a lot about the upper tier of wide receivers. As I have previously written, my fantasy portfolio will have a lot of diversity because of Covid-19, but the only WR I’ll take any chances on in the first round is Tyreek Hill, assuming Michael Thomas doesn’t fall to the back half of the round. 

With so much depth at the WR position, I’ll be starting most of my 1-QB drafts RB-RB. This isn’t to be confused with my crazy community college nights where I went streaking with a Beef-n-Cheddar and curly fries in hand chanting, “Arby’s! Arby’s!” If you’re wondering, eat your curly fries quickly while in the middle of a display of public nudity. Cops won’t feed them to you when you’re in handcuffs no matter how nicely you ask. 

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2020 IDP Fantasy Football: Top 50 Defensive Backs

When looking at defensive back rankings you’ll notice a fair amount of variance. Scoring systems play a role, but attempting to predict how many passes a player will “defense” or intercept is far from a science. It is why the top of most IDP rankings are filled with safeties with high tackle profiles and not the highly touted cornerbacks. Here I’ll highlight players 26-50 after covering 1-25 last week.

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Top 20 Wide Receivers for 2020 Fantasy Football

Like most of you, 2020 has been the best year of my life. It all started while I was watching NFL Network one Sunday morning last December, gearing up for some late season football with my hand down my pants like Al Bundy. Then a commercial flashed across my television screen that would forever change my life:

Turns out the curved erection was the original pandemic, back before pandemics were cool. And after several hard months of treatment, I can officially confirm: you don’t have to live with the curve guys. Right now you’re probably asking one of two things: 1) How can I too ease my Peyronie’s disease? or 2) What does this curved penis nonsense have to do with fantasy wide receivers? I’m glad you ask! 1) Go see Dr. Bent Johnson, he’s the best penis bender in the country; and 2) I can now watch D.K. Metcalf pain-free. The Metcalf erections of  2019 were bittersweet with my condition, but I was still tempted to put the big sexy in my top 10 wide receivers for 2020 fantasy football. I didn’t, but there was temptation. Anyway, here’s my top 20 wide receivers for 2020 PPR fantasy football: 

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Profit Off Tyler Lockett

I love buying my boy toys. Wait. That didn’t come out right. I love buying my child, who is a boy, items to play with for his enjoyment. The smile on his face, the hug I receive, and the “Thank you, daddy. I love you” are what make it all worth it. But, but, but….the better half of me always smacks some reality into my life. “You bought anoooooooooooother toy? He has too many! What about <insert random toy> he just got? You know he’s going to play with it for a week then dump it into the corner like all the rest, right?” This time will be different, I say. Fast forward to a few weeks and…..Yup. Rinse and repeat. That is why she is the better half. Anyways, as with my caveman ancestors, I evolved and stopped buying so many toys. As a result, my boy started going back to the OGs, the old reliables, the go-tos, and they produced and brought joy into his life. I see the same dynamic play out in the fantasy football landscape. The shiny new toy comes in and takes the league by storm, pushing the reliable veteran to the side. For 2020, D. K. Metcalf is being drafted as the 47th overall player while Tyler Lockett has a 58 ADP in NFFC drafts from 5/1 to 6/21. That’s crazy to me and here’s why:

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